Vacillation

Before I get started on this post, if you don’t know what the vacillation means take a sec and look it up. In fact I'll make it easy for you:
click here

OK, now that you know what it means, or did you just peruse over it, it is in reference to certain social situations. I was at work on Tuesday and was emailing my friend; we talk often about inadequacies, fear & loathing, and of course social situations. Thats when the term "social cripple" was coined, and that is how the word vacillation fits into this.

Its not that I can't talk to people, or that I run and hide in a corner when I am in a public area. It is when I have to make that initial contact, the initial hello that I want to last more than a hello. I remember reading an article called "The Charlie Brown Syndrome" a few years ago that seemed to sum up what I suffer from. It is of course in relation to Charlie Brown and his affection towards Heather, the little red haired girl.

As you have seen in the comics or specifically the New Years special Charlie Brown is wanting to invite the little red haired girl to the party. He gets an invitation ready and is all set to deliver it, but he is talking with Linus about it and the syndrome kicks in. "What if when I get up the door, and slide the envelope through my hand gets stuck in the slot, and then the door opens up and...." it goes on. Of course he isnt going to get his hand stuck, but he thinks of that type of situation, and for some reason he cant bring himself to do it. Well that could be the same in certain social situations.

There are different social situations, like if you go to a party that a friend is throwing, and you meet some strangers there. That is different because a common entity is already there, a mutual friend. Even if its a friend of a friend there is still a relation (damn, data base speak is getting mixed in here). Anyhow, so that is different. But say it’s the gym and you want to just say hello to some one. There is that instinct inside of me that says, "yes do it you fool! What do you have to lose? thats right nothing!" Even though I know this and I am aware of it i still have problems with it.

I am sure it is just a matter of doing it on a more regular basis, after all things get better with practice. We'll see what happens, and see if i can learn to walk again like Forrest Gump did when he broke off the leg braces.

So what is the cure for the social cripple, who doubles as a "dream killer" (I imagine only one person gets this), and suffers Charlie Brown Syndrome? Any suggestions?

I have also been meaning to get this written down, and I did tonight:
Let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage, let it burn to fucking ash and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place."

Throw Me Off

One of the darkest comedies I have seen in quite sometime. There is hardly a bit of smiling in this movie, with the exception of the Dave Letterman appearances. It was interesting how they filmed American Splendor as well, substituting in the "real guy" and the actor at times. The main character, Harvey Pekar (pronounced pee-car is the most pessimistic guy on the planet, beating out Larry David. Anyways the movie was good, and I was not disappointed with it. It is not for everyone though.

The other movie I saw this weekend was Run Away Jury which was entertaining. It had it fair share of technicalities that would NOT be allowed in a normal trial, especially one as high profile as this, but I realize it is in fact fiction.

I am going to keep this short, but I wanted to post this because it is just plain scary to think about. This could really wreak havoc on the internet Thanks /.

Going Out On a Limb

I say this because this post is pertaining to the two contractors that were recently killed in Iraq. Eugene Armstrong was the latest victim of the radicals who seem to target contractors on Iraq. I said going out on a limb because I am going to make some harsh statements about some things, and in no way to I want to trample the lives of these men who were killed. It is a terrible thing that it happened and could have been avoided if a hotheaded president didn’t lie about evidence simply to get his paws on some oil.

On Good Morning America today they stated that they (the contractors) went over to Iraq to "help the Iraqi people rebuild". This kind of thing is great for the papers, TV, and obtaining sympathizers on your side but here comes the brutal reality of this; I am almost sure it wasn’t about the willingness of these contractors to help the people of Iraq. It was about money, the obscene amount of money these people get for working in such dangerous conditions voluntarily unlike the men and women of the armed forces who were ordered to go there. In fact I would say a vast majority of the contractors over there have no real interest in helping the Iraqi people rebuild, and they may hold a deep down hatred for them.

I have heard of people getting paid six figure salaries for going over there knowing full well that they should avoid that area at all costs. They know that the United States government will not negotiate with these people to save the life of a civilian who ignored all the travel warnings and went for the money. If they did it would totally disgrace the men and women who have died in this reckless operation of Iraq. The contractors are given all the warning in the world, that going there is a bad choice, but the money is the sirens call for these individuals who choose to roll the dice.

Again please do not mix this up with the men and women of the armed forces who are fighting constantly over there. They are being paid a fraction of what these contractors are, and at best they get wartime pay. I have no idea what percentage increase that is over their base pay but I am sure it is still minuscule compared to what the civilians are being paid. And I reiterate they were ordered to go over there, they were not given a choice.

I am sure there are some that think I am a heartless bastard who doesn’t know what it feels like to loose any one special in their family, and there even may be a few of you that agree with certain points that I make. Those are just my thoughts on the situation.

Golden Boy No More

I managed to catch the B. Hopkins -vs- De la Hoya fight last night, and for the most part it lived up to the hype. The group that I watched it with shared my opinion that Hopkins was going to win, and he did with a well placed body shot in the 9th round. The crowd was behind De la Hoya the entire fight, and even booed Hopkins on his entrance to the ring. On top of that several times during the fight the crowd stated chanting "Oscar, Oscar". The purse on this fight also showed a huge discrepancy in what it takes to get paid in this business. Hopkins, the middleweight champion got paid 10 million in pursuit to his 19th successful title defense. De la Hoya on the other hand received 30 million ~ neither figure includes royalties from pay-per-view purchases or other royalties associated with the contract.

The under card of the main event was mediocre at best. The first fight took all of thirty three seconds to finish when the challenger knocked out the champion (See I cant even remember the names of either fighter). One shot to the jaw did it and the guy flopped, the second bout was a twelve round contest between a relative unknown in Salido and Juan Manuel Marquez. Salido took a very cautious approach to this fight, and it wasn’t until the late rounds that he seemed to come to life and show the he could at least contend on that level. Marquez on the other hand seemed to be in "cruise control" since his rematch with Manny Pacquiao had to wait at least one more fight.

So thats it for now, I will make another post a little later on. Until then make sure and yell out "Patrone!"

The Fox has Arrived

I rid myself of some evil by refusing to use IE anymore at home. I downloaded the newest version of Mozilla's FireFox and I am very happy with the results thus far. The appearance is slick and it seems more responsive to loading previously cached pages. So I move on...

Iraq is has showed no signs of slowing down, and the chief of the Arab Leagye, Amr Mussa, warned yesterday that the gates of hell had been opened in Iraq. It seems that Mussa has it right when he said "help Iraq through this crisis, reestablish sovereignty throughout the country and end the American occupation."

I am running out of steam for tonight, perhaps I will be inspired to write a longer post later.

Bob & Weave

That is the only way I can describe the wreckage of a highway that was IH 10 between the 10/410 interchange and downtown. The quality of the roads are deplorable to say the least, asphalt has been scraped up to remove old lane dividers, drainage gates have been installed and constant lane rearrangement has caused these conditions.

I was amazed that I wasn’t hit on my way to work today by some lady in a maxima that couldn’t seem to stay in her lane, but refused to simply let me get by her in the right lane. Let me explain this: I was driving in the right lane, which has fewer cars since it is right next to a concrete barrier. The maxima lady is in the center lane and starts to swerve into my lane as I creep past her. I honked my horn to get her arse to wake up and be more alert. This didn’t seem to work because it was only a matter of time before she started over again. This time I was passed her, but only after making a point of passing her; *sigh*.

Granted the lanes were re-arranged again this weekend, and I fell victim to the traffic that was piled up in the westbound lanes of IH 10 on Sunday. It was a terrible feeling being stuck in traffic, half nauseated and very thirsty. I sat in traffic for 40 minutes on my way home, and on my way I got to see some jackass in his camaro doing burnouts on the closed freeway area - nice abuse of power "city worker". I hope your rotors have some nice grooves in them, brake pads worn down to nubs and tires ball - all because you wanted to be Johnny Bad-ass on a sunday morning.

Enough of this putrid swill, its enough to give anyone a migraine if they think about it too much.

Oh yea the new phrase to yell on a day of frustration; compliments of Vanilla Sky: "Tech Support!!!" or "Tech Support; Its a Nightmare!"

Kerry Blasts Back

After taking a hit during the RNC, and falling back in the polls after the RNC according to Newsweek Kerry blasted Bush today putting him (Bush) bock of the defensive side. Kerry said mentioned that it was a tragic number that was reached, 1000 dead in Iraq and went on to say that the war there has now raised the amount of hatred for America and now has more terrorists there then ever before.

This accompanying Dick Cheney's blast who warned voters the election of John Kerry would result in a major attack against the U.S. He said, "It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating."
Way to Go Dick!

And just to top it off, it looks as if Bush wants to skip one of the debates this fall and only participate in two. This coming at a time when people are actually interested in politics, and voting for the next leader of the U.S.A. rather than ignoring it like in years past. The more time they have to debate one on one will be better for people to make informed decisions. Bush's propaganda will only go so far during the debate, and his war cries and remembering September 11th will not be tolerated as much as they were during the RNC. Further more Bush's military record is back in the news.

"According to the Globe, twice during his Guard service -- in May 1968 and in mid-1973 -- Bush signed documents pledging to meet training commitments or face a punitive call-up to active duty. But records show he didn't meet the commitments, or face the punishment."
Story here

Speaking of September 11th, PBS ran a documentary about it last night (Tuesday) on Nova. It was a well put together documentary, and I am now glad I didn’t change the channel.

Das all for today, blogspot has a problem yesterday posting my stuff so maybe today it will be better.

Rock the...

Casbeers! Not quite the Casbahh, but it is the name of the joint I ate lunch at today. It was a free lunch so I couldn't complain too much, and they went there knowing full well that the rowdy "coaches" were going to be there. Let me tell you something there were there in full force, I figured I would see a bunch of old, overweight men, with gray balding heads talking about high school football from the past week.

This was not the case however, they were loud and obnoxious with the most irritating laughs I ever heard. Charlie (head of the IT department) made fun of their laughs by making a half assed pirate laugh, strangely it was pretty close to the mark only a little lower on volume. The old men made it difficult for anyone else in there to hold a conversation and the entire restaurant was about to break into song and rejoice when they left. So word to the wise...avoid Casbeers on Tuesdays at lunchtime or you will suffer the wrath of the "coach posse" as I did today.

Oh, and get this - my flight back to town was delayed about 25 minutes yesterday. Reliable Southwest Airlines let me down as the ones who pride themselves as being on time as much as possible. They even go to such lengths as to avoid the busier airports to maintain this record; IE L.A., Chicago, New York (JKF or LaGuardia). Then my streak of seeing people from high school continued, this chica Natalie B. was on the flight. As I was boarding the plane I saw her, and I recognized her (or I thought I did so of course I did a double take). She saw me, but I don’t know if she recognized me, but she caught me looking at her. I didn't say anything to her, I was more interested in getting a seat on the crowded plane and keeping the other passengers behind me calm by not holding up the show any longer than absolutely necessary.

Luckily for me I had my brand new MP3 player in my pocket, I went with the Samsung Yepp 256 Mb. It has worked like a champ thus far and even passed the gym test today. So far I am pleased with the purchase. It isn't an iPod, but like I said I was interested in something with flash memory, not hard disk, and compact. So say "yepp" to Samsung's Yepp!

Ciao!

One Letter Does It

The history of the United States is littered with letters that describe presidents of years passed (and of course letters arranged in a certain order to create words is not what I meant). Two that come to mind quickly are JFK and LBJ, and now as if it wasn't enough to be one of the only sons of former presidents to hold office his legacy will be remembered by one letter alone: "W". If you hear some one talking about presidents and hear them say "Man, that 'W' really messed things up, especially after he had the entire world behind him."

Thats right, he beat the others by two whole letters. So remember come November 2nd vote for Kerry and end his reign, after all you don’t want him as the only Bush to actually get re-elected too do you? Oh, thats right he lost the first election!

So while we are talking about "W", lets talk about his home state, and the place where I live and its absolute obsession with high school football. Every time I hear those words strung together I think of the character from the Simpson’s dressed in a cowboy hat and southern accent screaming "What in the name of high school football?!". It is a plague, and to prove this point, during the annual "Gucci Bowl" game between Clark & Churchill a fight erupted. It wasn’t on the field either, but rather in the stands. Oh, Hollywood also made a full-length feature film about it, and the stereotypes associated with it called "Varsity Blues".

Finally on the way to work this morning I saw a bumper sticker that read:
"Clinton's lies didn't take lives".

Ciao!

Chicago Eat Your Heart Out

It seems that New York tops out Chicago again, although this may not be something to brag about. It seems that this years RNC is the most publicly protested convention ever, and has already tallied at least 1500 arrests since the protests began Sunday. It has also been reported that protesters have somehow gained access to the floor of the convention; those who made it in were promptly arrested and escorted out. There was another protestor who sprinted towards a TV crew screaming, "remember abu grahib!" while they were broadcasting live.

The two conventions are night & day in comparison. The DNC in Boston had very little protesting of any sort, and certainly not any directly towards Kerry (the swiftboat allegations came at a later time). However it seems as though all the protesting is not helping Kerry in the polls at all, but the republicans thus far have lacked firepower. Their desperate hopes of parlaying their popularity by holding the convention in NYC so close to the memorial of September 11 is as transparent a stunt as the alleged "republican moderates" that have appeared thus far.

Oh, and that speech by Laura Bush last night was as phony as her smile. I couldn’t stomach much of it, and changed it to finish up watching a mindless action movie.

Lets shift gears here:

Let me start with this; be considerate to your fellow co-workers if you decide to pop popcorn in the microwave in the break room. The smell of bagged, buttered, microwaved popcorn can linger for quite sometime - but especially so when it is burned. If that wasn’t enough, a second bag had to be prepared layering the putrid smells on top of each other. Did I mention that my office is across the hall from the break room? Yea it sucks.

I was also trying to figure out how to authenticate a user name and password against a Novell Network with out the use of LDAP. After several failed attempts the head of the IT department called up and said that he didn't care if we tried it out. Such a waste of time, although there is no guarantee that this will work either.